receive the glory

life has not seemed to stop or slow down lately. I literally feel like I am running from 6am to 10pm every night without stopping. And in areas of the elementary school where I am unable to run, I am power walking. Like a pro 🙂

these last few weeks have been an absolute blessing, but of course, not easy. I have learned so much already from my 3 weeks in an elementary classroom- I get to spend 2.5 days per week with second graders in Walnut Creek, my Master Teacher is a wonderful mentor and she is helping me understand exactly what it looks like to be an educator, and my classes at St. Marys are really preparing me for all that is to come. What a blessing. But to be completely honest, I am exhausted. I had no idea how much energy and time went into teaching- you have to constantly be observing students, learning which ones need to be assessed in different ways because of their learning challenges, learning how to assess in multiple ways for one subject to ensure that all students are up to par on grade level content, realizing that student behavior can be a reflection of 10 different things before it is actually because of someone kicking the back of their chair, realizing that disciplining and classroom management are a core part of lesson planning because in younger grades, a 30 minute lesson will definitely take closer to an hour in reality.

I have so much respect for full-time teachers, especially in this day and age because they have to work so incredibly hard. They spend way more than 40 hours in their classroom each week and they constantly have to be on top of things, otherwise it is way too easy to fall behind and lose track of the progress of your students.

ANYWAYS- student teaching and my 15 units at St. Mary’s have been exhausting, empowering, and enlightening- and for the next 8 months, I can tell it is going to consume me. The other day as I was having a little pity party on my drive home, “What was I thinking? Why am I even doing this? Am I sure this is what I want?” I was gently reminded of a few things: 1) I believe fully in the power of education 2) I have the true desire to educate students in a way that demonstrates kindness, patience, and love like they haven’t experienced before and most of all 3) This is what I have been called to do. I would not be doing this if I didn’t truly believe it was what God had called me to do. I believe teachers need to have a true passion for teaching- otherwise they won’t be able to succeed and stay in the profession long term. And because I have a true passion for teaching and I know that I have been called to do this, I know that God will sustain me through it all.

So as I am slowly turning my pity party into a place of trusting God again, this song came on my iPod. I have not taken the song off of repeat yet. And that was almost 2 days ago. I want all that I do to bring honor to God’s name. Above all else. I want the way I teach in the future to reflect the kindness and gentleness of God. Jesus loved little children in an amazing way, and I believe that as I seek to honor God in my daily time as a teacher, I can reflect a small portion of that love that will influence these children. But the hardest part of all this? Ultimately it is out of my control. I can help them as much as I know how to, I can try and guide them to make the right decisions, to try their hardest, and to show them how to respect others, but in the end, the decision is up to them. And that is really hard- I find every day that I tend to blame myself for certain outcomes in a child’s progress- but as long as I can look back and say that I tried my hardest with what I know how to do, to the best of my ability, then ultimately, they probably chose something different that will bring them some consequences. Wouldn’t it be a perfect world if all children wanted to learn and demonstrate respect, learn with great expectation, and behave just how we want them to? Haha, yes. It would be. Realistic? Hardly. Unfortunately. But what I am learning is that I am constantly reminded that my best is enough and that God doesn’t expect perfection. Because in our imperfection, we are constantly brought back to God’s perfection, his perfect plan, and his ultimate control of every situation. Phew. Then the weight comes off the shoulders, the burden is lifted, and I can enjoy teaching for all that it is intended to be. And I can learn best when I have that perspective too. Because the truth is- every smile a child gives me, every hilariously innocent comment they make, every aspect of life that they bring into the classroom, and all the joy that comes with being a second grader, is something that I cherish. I want to soak up all of that and not miss a single opportunity to laugh. These are priceless moments where we truly get to understand what it means to have child-like faith. And what a beautiful thing it is.

Ok- enough about teaching. Below are the lyrics from that song- it is amazing. It is by Chris Martin- You can look it up on Google if you want- Or YouTube. Below the lyrics are so updates of other things going on in my life. Enjoy 🙂

in every desert place

every flowing in

no matter where I am

receive the glory

in every place you lead

in every dream i weave

with every heartbesat

receive the glory

we just want to see you glorified

we just want to see you lifted high

we just want to bring honor to your name

in every offering

every sowing seed

with everything i give

receive the glory

in every day i live

with every breath you give

on every sunset

receive the glory

we just want to see you glorified

we just want to see you lifted high

we just want to bring honor to your name

you’re the center

you’re the answer

you are holy

you are worthy

for the glory

and all the honor

we will praise you

we will praise you

 Jenna, mom and I in Carmel two weeks ago. We had a great visit! It is always so great to see Steve and Jenna- living in Oregon is a big minus for me, but our times together are great. Jenna and I saw the movie One Day and we cried. And we laughed. And we gasped. And we loved it. It was great. Carmel was great. Miss them already.

 Lynnie, Joy, Jenna, and I spent an afternoon in Berkeley with some other girls from church. We had a great time shopping, talking, eating and enjoying the beautiful weather- It was a great day!


 Bekah asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding!! She made these really adorable headbands for all the bridesmaids and wrote the most amazing poem with pictures of us on it. We had to take a picture of ourselves with it on and then give a little blurb about our friendship. Tomorrow I get to take photos of their engagement and I am SO SO SO excited!!

 Last weekend in Carmel was phenomenal. My time with Kat and with my mom was amazing, refreshing, and relaxing. I have a true love of Carmel, the perfect year-round weather, and the great scenery. The ocean, the hills, the boats, the trees, the fog- I love it. Kat and I talked a LOT, walked and shopped, ran early in the morning, studied for school and teaching (yes, be proud) and we ate some great food 🙂 I love this girl and I am so grateful for her friendship. She loves her friends in a way unlike I have seen before, she is your biggest advocate and a great support. I am so blessed by her.  This is mom and I in Carmel. I love her. She is such a support in my life and our times together are always filled with honesty, laughter, and great memories. So grateful for her.

It has been a whirlwind of events, learning, and new schedules lately- but ultimately, I am brought back to the glory of God- because when we choose to see all that God has placed around us- his unmistakable beauty and love for us, we can truly honor God in all that we do. I want God to receive the glory because in that, he can use me fully and I can love him fully in return.

always learning- always. but so grateful for the grace, for the patience, and for others in my life who know God.

“God- we just want to see you glorified. We just want to see you lifted high. We just want to bring honor to your name. Receive the glory in all we do.”

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